Hai and assalamualaikum =)

To knowing that you are not as tough as you think, possibly ruins your night. Everything was too bad. Crying a lot every night before you feel calm are too bad and either more and more!

I just cannot stop crying and I know this is too stupid. Laying on bed and suddenly you getting up and just sat on the left of your bed crying over and over and you replaying all the memories on your head, this is too much! Really killing your heart without you knowing. I wish my heart has no feeling of all.

Watching you happy without me at your side was good but not me. I'm suffer and got insanely! I miss you bodoh! Really do! Ain't you feel the same to me?! I just hate it all!!!!!!

Wassalam =(

Xoxo, Scha

Hai and assalamualaikum =)

Can you feel what I feel? Gosh seriously you are?! Hoping the same..

My stomach having butterflies. A weeks! What is going on dude! I think, this is too much weh. Perasaan yang macam tak tentu arah. Lepastuh kepala hotak kau tak boleh fikir benda lain selain ya. Pepaham jelah..

Aku nak nangis. Tapi aku tahan. Aku kuat. Itu jelah. I just need somebody that could hear all of my tears, babbling and so on. Aku rasa down, frustrated and so more! An even I cannot write it here!!!

I just can pray. Hoping things be fine or maybe over. My pray, want it goes well and ease. Aku taknak serabut kepala fikir masalah yang tiada penghujung. Kau tak duduk tempat aku. Apa aku rasa. Aku down sangat :'(

Wasalam =)

Xoxo, Scha

Hai and assalamualaikum =)

Another week to move on. Another day to live. Another hour to taking a breath. Another minute to see the miracle.

I was in misery. To living in the world. It was like, everything is not okay. My heart beat so fast. My stomach like cannot accept anything else than fate. My eyes was unable to see all things. Like, I'm in dead..

To moving slowly it was too hard. Pathetic. Sighing all the way around. I'm confused. For right now, my eyes like do not want to cry. Heart feeling want to shout till the rain come. The thunder are ready to terrorize. 

Too easy to broke. But, hard to get it back as usually.

Like seriously,
I'm in dead..

Wassalam =)

Xoxo, Scha

Hai and assalamualaikum to all my lovelies reader =)

Oh rindunya dekat blog. Rindu gila! Dulu masa zaman kegemilangan, hari-2 nak post entry. Balik sekolah, up! Up! And again. Hehe

Now aku dah habis sekolah. Oh I'm so glad to knowing it! But, I'm going to miss it. Bukan senang. I meant, senang tinggal tapi kenangan kita tak mungkin senang untuk dilupakan. Banyak sangat kenangan manis, pahit, tawar, lesir semua. How can I forget bout it? Wish I will never forgetting all the kind memories. I'm so in loved with it! Sigh..

Dekat dua minggu jugak aku dah habis sekolah. Sorry. I cannot up some of the photos when I'm in school. Either past or the new one. Gambar aku habis periksa SPM haritu ada satu je. Yang lain, burn! Cause that day on my way balik Kluang from KL, in the bus I accidentally terrrrrrrrrrr delete my camera's album! Gosh meraung aku dalam bas. Called my Akim and ask him to help me to get the photos back! Impossible of course. So now, I just let it be. I have it. In my mind. I know I can bearly to save it. Okay, never mind!

So, I'm a jobless now. Photography? Taktahu lah nak sambung ke dak. Macam dah takde hati. Aku cepat berubah. Hobi aku tak tentu. Susah hidup! Cemana akan datang nak kerja? Dah lah cerewet! Kay ngutuk diri sendiri. Takpeeeeeeeee ekekeke

So just that for tonight. Sebab dah malam kan. Besuk aku up lagik. Badan penat sakit-2. Dah berapa hari tak boleh tido. Kalau tido pun pukul 3 atau 4 pagi. Gila. Insomniaaaaaaaa!!!

Wassalam =)

Xoxo, Scha

Sigh..

Hai and assalamualaikum my lovelies reader =)

I'm no longer know him as before. He is change. Totally, he was! I was expecting more than this but.. Hmm ruins!  Either by me, nor him. I don't know.

Now, I used to alone. By myself. Dulu, bolehlah cerita itu ini to someone. Now, I rather keep it by myself. I'm too frustated. I'm hoping too much! Well I meant, I'm too hoping till the sky. Now, hmm..

I even not crying for this. If he really meant to me, he will. If he is not, I may cry. A while maybe. Take a time to feel the sadness. All things was changed too fast till I never realises. Suprisingly, I was still stood like things are usual. Amazing me..

I never care bout him any more since he was like acuh tak acuh to me. I cried a lot that night. Too much! Luckily I'm alone so I can shouting at home.

I don't know what to do now. Confused, disappointed, frustrated and so many more. Words cannot describe how I feel. Tear tella you everything!

Wassalam =)

Xoxo, Scha

Hai and assalamualaikum to all my lovelies reader =)

When you cannot guarantee what will coming the next, I'm pretty sure that you will plan something better in your life. I mean is, to be alone. By yours..

Wassalam =)

Xoxo, Scha

Hai and assalamualaikum to all my lovelies reader =)

No picture for today. It is mean, nothing can describe my feeling now :'(

Allah knows everything is just well. Sorry, I've broke  it to the pieces. Who would ever know this things was too stupid. I can't sleep. Wechat is being to cruel to me. Gallery make me cry non stop. Social website make me cannot stop for viewing his face. Me? Surfer..

I wish I know how to make it fine. I wish nobody could know how much I miss him now. I wish nobody couldn't see how I will hug him to tight so he won't far away from me again.

This little love make me surfer. To the bits. Yet, I keep advising people to not fall in love while me? Stupid advice of course!

I miss my old before. I miss of him before. Ya Allah,  just give me a reason why? Exam is around the corner. My stomach having butterflies. My brain cannot stop working from not thinking. My eyes cannot any longer crying for this..

I wish, my heart is too strong to face this. I give my all to prove, yet it were just a wasting!

For the last, I knee and begging, do favor love like I do. Just realised, live without you in my life, just a fire that trying to burn me out. I'm dying :'(

Wassalam..

Xoxo, Scha

Hai and assalamualaikum to all my lovelies reader =)

Heyyo whassap nigga?! Hahaha have been long time I do not updating my blog. Oh kinda miss me? Hmm hello! Am I still have a reader here? Cannot? Okay never mind :P

Well here I am just want to post some kind of my story. Hmm SPM is around the corner. Yet, I still not prepare for it. This is the big one. Once you failed, you are forever loser..

Me and him? Alhamdulillah. Have reached now. One year and half make us more strong than before. Being more positive yet, still have a fight! More big. Our journey still long and makes all things become more long and big! Hushh I supposed do something for it. Later I think it lah :P

Now I no longer work. Cause want to get ready for my SPM. Arghhhhhhhhhh! Kinda bored my day without work. I miss it :(

Hmm what more I can write here? Too many things that had past and I cannot remember it. 

More to come insyaAllah, I will be update things can make us more cheerful than now! See ya ;)

Wassalam =)

Xoxo, Scha

Hai and assalamualaikum to all my lovelies reader =)

Story may not be labelled by what we want to write. This love may not be the real as the same. Wondering, the faith has come and we're still didn't want to change. Want to keep the same. I am maybe not a good 'writer' to you. But at least, the story that I write, may as good the 'writer' I am here. The 'storyteller' may not be same as what they want to tell you. The'storyteller' just want to tell the things that may happen. This life, we'll never expect how it's gonna be. Unexpected things. I just had it.

My love story were just like going tumbling into this world. The end of this so closed to me. When? Please! Don't let it fall before the time. Upsetting me much cause we're gonna celebrate for the first year. Pathetic! My eyes like can't bear the tears anymore. Some will maybe said, I'm not unlike the girl just only asked for the sympathize with my fake tears just for a love. Come and I give you just for a second to be at my placed how that I feel. 

I knew, some other would be proud with my love story and how we've been through for this 11 months together. With what I'm telling them, "I am too much happy and we're getting 11 months of love and you will never know how happy I am with this! :)". Yet, behind of all the love, we've sometimes had a difficult moments together. All of this are not as sweet like the ants as what you think. We had it sometimes. To the strangers, and becoming the love, had a war of love, sulking and trying to persuaded between us. This is not easy. To comfort each of us was not like what you had in your mind..

For a few days ago, I had a war with Him. Sulking with my mom (ignore this one cause we're fine now). Akim, I wish I have him now at my beside. Even I am mad with him, for the truth I am not actually. Just want his full attention with me. I knew that I am being such a QUEEN CONTROL but for the fact is, I just want HIM! I've never doing this before with my ex. I can't understand him with all the situation. He's trying to persuaded me but I just ignore him. I just want he to come beside me and persuade me as usual he did. Damn! 

I lost my phone. The number that he gave to me 10 months ago. He buy it in front of me. Same number of us. I'm careless put it over all around the sides. Either I've left or lost in the house or maybe I dropped it in Mira's car yesterday, not sure. Sad cause I can't call him on night before sleep. Even I'm sulking and mad toward him, still do as usual calling even just a while.

I'm sad. I've lost it. I need to find back. As like the little pieces of his heart I throw to somewhere. I need it back. Overnight I'm crying. I need it back. Pleaseeeeeee :'(

Dear Allah, help me, Your servant that full of sins.

 I knee on you, I pray, please do ease my life. My family, Muhammad Fitri Hakim b A Manap.

 Give us Your blessings, Your guidance to keep me through Your Way. I knew, You're Forgiving. Give the happiness to us. I pray to you, O Allah :'( 
Amiiin..

" We're not broken, just bent we can learn to love again... "

Wassalam =')

Xoxo, Scha

Hai and assalamualaikum my lovelies reader =)

Well, it's true. "Isn't it strange how LOVE can be the everything what most the people need but still searching it for". I wonder if the people can't live without it? Ya they can't. Includes me too. Hehe

There's have a many love that we can describe. Love to our Creature, family, friend, the mostly ever favorite person that we likes. Hehe when we say that we can describe it, well it is mean that we can't actually. For the fact is, love is can't be describe. When we fall in love someone person that can make our day, we're actually the only person who is happy ever! Hiks I guess too :P

Me and my Love? We're already 10 MONTHS and I'm sho happy! It was yesterday actually but I've been so busy with my family and adding, I just lost my favorite auntie on my dad side cause she is suffering brain cancer. Condolences to myself and other of my relatives :'(

Yesterday is my bad day I think. Me and Akim had a bad arguments about our own mistakes and seriously, 10 months were just like a bad. I admit it, in relationship we always have an argument with our partner which is the things comes by ourself. So other couples out there, be watch out with your partners. Sometimes, there were just like want to kill our feeling :(

And I do, even me and Akim always got fight. I can't count how many times we did it cause everyday, it just like a world war to us. I think we're already have been through the war about more than hundreds maybe. Ya I think. It's funny in a serious situation but I just know how to cry only. He'll be there to 'pujuk' me when I'm sulking. Quite be funny when I need to used the malay one inside. Kih kih kih. 

However though, Muhammad Fitri Hakim the one I loved after Allah S.W.T, Rasulullah S.A.W, my big happy annoying family. I love them so much! More that I can say and what I've been wrote here. Hiks. May Allah bless my family and Muhammad Fitri Hakim. I feel so blessed by Him. Alhamdulillah :)

This picture was taken when we're 4 months. Hiksssss ♥

Wassalam =)

Xoxo, Scha

Hai and assalamualaikum my lovelies reader =)

Wehuuuu whats'up guys? Happy? Sad? Laugh? Hmmm let it be :/

Well as you know, this year I'm gonna face a very big things that will decide where the way I should go after my school. It is SPM!!!! Like seriously, the hell you're doing? I mean, are you serious?! I'm not ready yet with it? What should I do? Where? When? Gahhhhhhhhhhhhh all are the fucking fact in November soon. Pathetic me :'(

I didn't do any preparation for my big exam that gonna hit me in this November. I'm still playing, do my works, chilling with my friend, having a sweet date with my love. All of it I did! But not this one. STUDY! No, I don't. Being too much lazy eventho you're already know this is a very big and the most bigger problems in my life now. 

Everyday, my mom will nags on me just about it. Same too with Akim. Fuckng bored and I don't want to listen it anymore! Give me some space and some rest to my brain. My brain need the space and rest to let it think clearly about my problems. Didn't you think about it? Pity me. And always did :'(

Wassalam =)

Xoxo, Scha

Hai and assalamualaikum to all my lovelies reader =)

Alhamdulillah today already be 9 months of me and Akim. So happy cause we still in this quite long relationship where I think that make me feel so lucky girl in this world. Some people may say that this relationship are maybe not really long but me and Akim feeling, this is a good step to us to forward for our future. InsyaAllah if Allah willing it, this relationship may be forever, insyaAllah :)

Wassalam =)

Xoxo, Scha

Hai and assalamualaikum to all my lovelies reader =)

Wahai penjaga hatiku.

Kau jagalah hatiku ini dari segala sifat kebencian

Kau peliharalah hatiku dari segala keburukan

Kau berilah hatiku keimanan dan ketakwaan yang melimpahi didunia ini..

Aku manusia biasa 

Sering melakukan kesilapan

Hati ini adalah petunjuk segala kelakuan

Hati ini tidak bisa dibendung

Hati ini lemah..

Wahai penjaga hatiku

Lindungi dan jagalah hatiku ini

Bawalah aku ke Syurga Jannah-Nya

Bimbinglah aku, Wahai Penjaga Hatiku

Aku memerlukanmu disaat susah dan senang

Supaya kau bisa memeluk hatiku ini ketika ku ketakutan.

Bendunglah hatiku ini, Wahai Penjaga Hatiku

Sesungguhnya

Dikaulah yang aku cari dan aku perlukan selama ini..

Jaga hatiku ini sebaik dan sebisa mungkin, Wahai Penjaga Hatiku..

Wassalam =')

Xoxo, Scha

Hai and assalamualaikum to all my lovelies reader =')

Failure comes from the person who doesn't appreciated the life. Appreciated the things that they had. I am the one..

Telling somebody whom I trust is the only way that I can released all of it and my depression into. I admit, I'm sick all around with this life. Isn't wrong tell my mom about it?

I do I've shouldn't do that. But I won't to keep it by myself and only me that I think the things can be shared together. Mommy the only person in this world that I trusted that can keep my problems. But some are not, yes I did..

I just make it. I am promising to my own self, every single things that will happen on me soon, let me keep it by my self. Which is includes with the relationship or not, I will do. I am promised it! Every thing that I do is wrong! Wrong for the every eyes that watched it and see how it began! Regret..

From now and on, let me keep it by myself. I am promised! I don't mind if he tell about it to his friends but I'm not. I don't have any friend that can be shared just only mom and family that I have and mommy is always be my good friend. Indeed, I know where the way I go. Make it twice obviously not the good idea..

Well at least, he still have a friend that can be going out together. I am not. Here is I'm alone. With my family and Him. Allah and Rasulullah were beside me everyday. Alhamdulillah. I'm fine with it. I don't mind. It is my fault, guys :')

You're pleasant to blaming me. For the each things that I've done. Or I'm not. Like seriously, I will face it. Take it with a fine. Allah blessing me everyday. Quite enough for me. And I pray this relationship will be forever till heaven of Jannah, insyaAllah :'D

Wassalam =')

Xoxo, Scha

Hai and assalamualaikum to all my lovelies reader =)

As well you know, my life been busy now. Work and study is not really enjoy thingy for me. But yet I still can be handle it. 

Rushing there and here make my feet can't any longer able to stand. Back from school, sometimes I got to  go to office. Often to it but really not. Blurgh

And ya the story up here not really exciting cause was not really true about. I am happy all the way!!!!
Yeayyyy I'm fine. Work and study make me feel so happy. Heheh

Okay let's about my relationship. What happen? And ya here we go!

Me and Akim now like really not in the way. Means like we're keep argue this lately. I don't know where it's come but surely, it's not really cool..

I need to off my phone for a while when even I knew I whom started it first! I always want to win! There is my pointless and that can be cased why and what's happening! If you are in my place, you'll know the feeling..

Like seriously, I don't want to make the things became so worst! He sulking, either me too. We're both are! At the end, I need to persuaded him. Before this, he used to do that. Keep always he did. And now, it's my turn..

And ya, we've been in this love about 7 months and half! Engaged about 5 months and 2 days! Speechless! 

I love him in every way that he did even sometimes look annoying. How fat, annoying, dumb he is and more, I still love. The only good present Allah's give after my family and all over the part in my life. Blissful. Thought it will come the most need it in my life. Thank you Allah. Nothing can described how thankful I am. Blessed!

Wassalam =)

Xoxo, Scha

Hai and assalamualaikum to all my lovelies reader =)

Last night, sleeping at my bed. I've dreamed a bad, worst, most annoying dream that I had. Ponder what mean of the dream actually..

Like seriously, I got the dream! Was before it's Akim. And now, we're changed it and I got. Where is I've married with someone else whom is not AKIM! Damn!! 

Why He entering in my dream? I don't ask for that. No. Hmm pretty sure he is most ridiculous to me..

Wassalam =)

Xoxo, Scha

Hai and assalamualaikum to all my lovelies reader =)

Like seriously, I couldn't tell you how I've been thinking about it since Akim told me yesterday about the dream. And I couldn't take it away from escaping me in this way. I wondering that if could be happen, I will spell that he never enter in my life before!

Ya I saw him as usual he went go out to his house. He is thin. More thin that before that I've met him. How?! How can I think that. Told mummy about that. And she not really interesting to hear that. She supposed to hear what my boyfie do for right now.

Akim surely will be mad to hear that. I do not love him anymore but when I saw him automatically, my mind was disappeared to somewhere place. It is six months ago but when you got to do that, I'm not sure it will still barely to think or how.

Maybe I was still here for the hope it not will come to me back. How I wish me and him will never do to meet or so. Hopefully the dreams was just a play land of sleep to Akim and he still stick around me when I need him. The loves and sound from him the mostly things and deepest feeling that I want. No others. Him..

I've been here neighbour-hood place where I met him. The place that can't be change to my family nor him either too. Real place. Being from fat until thin and being thin until fatty this, it can't really being take off. I just being honest and true here in this blog without no one notice it. I do believe this is something gonna be happen back of it. But not that, ask to stay away from us. Me and Akim..

Akim I just need you for not making any arguments off. Make it not hesitation. In a real..

Wassalam =')

Xoxo, Scha

Hai and assalamualaikum to all my lovelies reader =)

Hello party people! What's up girls? Today is Sunday and I have a blissful day for today. Oh such a blessed :)

And ya btw, I'm celebrating my 7 monthsary of love with Akim! Yeayyyyyyy!! Finally we've reached of this month with full of love and Allah blessed us in this relationship. Alhamdulillah. Everything was doing fine and we're still together in the track! Hehehe happy and happy.

Me? Hmm I'm already in form 5. Time flies so fast. We're finally in 2013 year. I've dreamed before and I wish this could not be happen in my life. I am SPM Candidate in 2013. Unbelieveble! Like seriously, I can't believe this. Hmm pathetic :'(

In a few months that I did not updating my blog, my life was being so cool! I tell you now. I am a part time work as a photographer. Finally, I achieved it! Alhamdulillah. I got my own money to survived and to buy what I want. Not really at all that want to buy. But at least, I get my own handbag used my money. Cool aite? Don't say it please :D

What I want to say? What more and else? Stuck here with no ideas want to write. Well, I'd wrote something important. Surely, I don't have a readers here like before. Arghhhhhhhhhhh!! All the peoples come back to me here. Sorry for rarely updating the blog. I've been busy with life and my happiness that I made and forgetting these things. Sorry my mistakes :(

Hello the people! Here I am come back with a new and hot stuff cool the stories. Will come back soon with more stories! Wait and be chill. I'll be back, promise! :)

Here some photos that I can share in these few of months that I leave it..

Wassalam =)

Xoxo, Scha